Hello, fellow bookworm!

It’s Day 18 in reading Nicola Tyche’s North Queen. To recap, it’s about Norah who went missing for three years. When she was found, she was brought to a kingdom that she didn’t know where she lived. And the most shocking part? She was the kingdom’s incoming queen. 

I read Chapter 19 and a little bit of chapter 20 on Day 18. I was busy and tired from work but I was still able to find 30 minutes to read. I couldn’t miss the new information about Norah that made me more curious about her.

The three things that stood out to me:

• A skirt being heavy symbolizes the gravity of the burden on her shoulder as the queen of her kingdom. However, Norah could still move easily while wearing it which, for me, represents her strength and resilience to carry out her duties despite her memory loss. 
• Glimpses of her past were starting to show up and it makes the story more interesting. 
• Norah’s sense of humor was a breath of fresh air. 

That’s all for now. 

If you are interested in reading Days 1-17, just go here and Day 19-20 here.

Until next time, fellow bookworm! 😊📖☕

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

INTRODUCTION

After its first publication in 1988, Paulo Coelho’s O Alquimista ( The Alchemist) fell short of book sales. Determined to tell the story of a shepherd who was on his way to the pyramids of Egypt in search of a treasure, Coelho found another publisher to give the book another chance. An American tourist visited Brazil eight months later and got a copy of the book. He was interested in translating it to English and having it published in the United States of America. Eventually, HarperCollins issued The Alchemist in 1993. The sale was slow at the start but it gained momentum after famous people such as Madonna, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh, and Will Smith read it. Since then, The Alchemist has sold millions of copies worldwide, became one of the most translated books, and stayed over 300 weeks in The New York Times Best Sellers.

OVERVIEW

An Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago is driven by his dream to set off on a journey with one goal in mind, to find the treasure near the Pyramids of Egypt.

Along the way, he met people from different walks of life that influenced his decisions on how to move forward with his journey. After the arduous odyssey, he found that the treasure he was seeking in the beginning was not what he imagined to be in the end.

The Alchemist shows the power of dreams and listening to our hearts.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 

1. What was the typical day of the shepherd?
2. How did the man become a shepherd? Why did he choose to be one?
3. If you were his father, how would you feel about the path he chose which was different from what you expected of him?
4. According to the book, what makes life interesting? Do you agree with this?
5. Describe the shepherd’s encounter with the Gypsy dream interpreter.
6. An old man claiming to be a king offered the shepherd the location of s treasure in exchange for one-tenth of the latter’s sheep. If you were the shepherd, what would you do?
7. What is a personal legend? How does this apply to your life?
8. What is your favorite quote in the book? Why?
9. At one point, the shepherd lost everything. What do you think about his statement that God was unfair?
10. What brought back the shepherd’s inspiration and motivation to continue his journey?
11. What is the Alchemist’s Personal Legend? How did this influence the shepherd’s perspective in life?
12. What is love without ownership for you?
13. What is one thing that stops us from achieving our dreams?
14. What is your favorite moment in the book? Describe it.
15. Would you recommend this book to others? Why or why not?

QUOTES

“It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is.” – Old Man

“I’m like everyone else—I see the world in terms of what I would like to see happen, not what actually does.” – The Shepherd

It’s true; life really is generous to those who pursue their Personal Legend, the boy thought.

WHAT I LOVED

• Reading The Alchemist is like gliding through the cadence of Paulo Coelho’s prose. His style of writing is admirable.
• It speaks to my soul. There is something within me that recognizes the meaning of the symbols in the story that points to an important realization– living life to the fullest is a signpost of a happy life.
• The hero’s journey is relatable when it comes to finding life’s purpose. At first, there were curiosity and exhilaration, then risk, loss, and frustration, and eventually, redemption, discovery, and success.
• I appreciate the character opposite to the shepherd, the crystal merchant who had dreams but chose to continue dreaming. He just wanted to stay wherever he was.
• The part when the shepherd tried to prove that he could be one with the wind was my favorite moment. It was a big risk. What if the wind didn’t cooperate? Death was a sure consequence.

WHAT I LOVED THE LEAST

• The simplicity of the characters and their backgrounds gives the story a fable or a fairy tale vibe but they give the main theme of finding your personal legend a spotlight.

SUMMING-UP

Paulo Coelho expresses his soul through his book, The Alchemist, which shows the challenges of finding one’s Personal Legend through the story of the shepherd boy in Andalusian. It unfurls a blueprint for finding one’s existential meaning. 

Meeting different people along the way is one of the highlights of the shepherd’s journey. It all started with a dream that repeatedly appeared in the shepherd’s sleep. He met a Gypsy woman who told her to find the treasure in the pyramids of Egypt. He then met different kinds of people, the old man who claimed to be a king, the crystal merchant, tribal warriors, the Englishman, the Alchemist, and the monks. 

The book is only short, about 178 pages in an ebook format, which delineates the simple story that is remindful of a fable wherein the characters are not fully fleshed-out. Despite this, true to its allegorical nature, The Alchemist didn’t fail to deliver its message: if we are determined to find our personal legend, the universe will conspire. 

Readers who like simple fantasy and adventure stories with a spiritual overtone will enjoy this. 

FURTHER INFORMATION

Paulo Coelho’s Website 

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YouTube

Book Information:

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Published on February 24, 2015, by HarperOne; 25th ed. edition

178 pages (eBook)

Find it here:

Goodreads 

The Mastery of Love is an invitation from Don Miguel Ruiz and Janet Mills to take a different perspective on love and relationship. It is based on the ancient teachings of the Toltec, “the women and men of knowledge”, the masters of science and art, also known in southern Mexico as the naguals. Don Miguel Ruiz is a nagual who comes from the line of the Eagle Knight. The Mastery of Love is one of the books in The Toltec Wisdom Series written by him, together with his co-author, Janet Mills,  who is the founder and president of Amber-Allen publishing.

Takeaways

-There are two main things in life: an outer image and an inner image. The outer image is everything that we believe about ourselves and about the world around us; the inner image is the real us. The outer image is a dream. The inner image is pure love; it is Life.

-We are an emotional body with wounded skin that when triggered by another person or a circumstance, we get hurt. The pain is caused by the habitual practice of operating from a place of fear.

-The Dream instilled in us a Belief System that hurts and limits us from living our authentic selves. In Toltec, this is the Parasite in our head.

– The Parasite churns out poison from our reaction to what we believe as injustice. We pass the poison on to others by getting into an argument with them. In this way we catch their attention and attach it to our drama. After the fight, we feel better but the other person who received all of our complaints doesn’t so he or she fires back with his/her drama, hooking our attention, transferring his/her poison to us. This back and forth transfer of poison shows how we treat each other nowadays.

– Love and forgiveness can heal emotional wounds and help us get out of the misery that the Parasite created. We are the force that can make change happen. 

– Becoming a hunter is the first step of change. Be aware of every reaction you have, arrest it, surrender it to love, and let love flow from your heart. 

– In a relationship, we are only responsible for our half ; the other half is taken care of by our husband, or wife, or son, or daughter, or a dog, etc. Drama ensues from taking responsibility for the other half. 

– The need of our mind is not necessarily the need of our body. When we are hungry, we eat to satisfy the needs of the body. We don’t feel hungry anymore but our mind still thinks the body needs more food so we binge eat. Being aware about what our mind needs and what our body needs can help us control our impulses.

My Thoughts 

The Mastery of Love is interesting but sometimes confronting. It’s take on love and relationship challenges what I know and believe about love and relationship.  I thought we are like empty vessels looking for people or things to fill us up with their love. In this book, we are likened to an overflowing fountain that is abundant with love, moving in a perpetual motion from our heart to the others, nurturing our relationship with them. We are not scared to love others or not to receive love from others because in us love is already present and abundant. This way of thinking is transformative.

The Toltec teachings are presented in a way that is general and abstract. The stories are theoretical but  they were able to make me retrieve my own concrete experiences to make them sensible to me. The book is repetitive at times to fully emphasize its message. However, I felt it was too much to take in all the big statements, generalizations, and examples. That’s why I needed to take time to understand them fully and absorb their core message. 

I appreciate Don Miguel Ruiz’s advice; “Don’t believe me.” He asked the readers to not believe him but to “think and make choices.” As I’ve said, reading this book is an invitation and it’s up to the readers to allow the book to transform their notion of love and relationship. It did change mine. 

4/5

Discussion Questions

1. What is your idea of a relationship? How about love?

2.Did your idea of love and relationship change after reading this book?

3. What is the most surprising information from this book?

4. What questions came up as you read the book?

5. Would you apply the teachings in this book in your life? Why or why not?

Further Information

Title: The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship –Toltec Wisdom Book

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz, Janet Mills

Genre: Self-Help

Publisher: Amber-Allen Publishing (July 7, 2011)

Publication Date: ‎ July 7, 2011

Print length: 135 pages

ASIN:  B005BSQWVM

Quotes

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

Time travel is impossible. Stephen Hawking said that if it was possible, we could’ve met tourists from the future. Well, I have never heard of any news about people bumping into other people from the future, let alone meeting them in person. But then again,  it’s exciting to imagine what could’ve happened if we could travel hundred years into the past or the future. Thanks to fiction, storytellers can invent people who travel forward and back in time

Melodie Winawer’s debut novel, The Scribe of Siena,  is about Beatrice Alessandra Trovato,  a note-worthy neurosurgeon in New York. She was the sister of Benianimo Emmanuel Trovato,  a medieval scholar living in Siena. When her brother died, Beatrice became all alone in her life, and his brother left her a house in Siena and all of his work as a historian.  He discovered the real reason why Siena fell from its pinnacle after the bubonic plague. Fearing that her brother’s work would fall into the hands of Sienese scholars who have malicious intent, Beatrice took over the research.  As she pored over manuscripts and books, something happened that changed her life completely. She traveled more than six hundred years into the past and found herself in medieval Siena. Confused, she had no choice but to find a way to blend in with the crowd before figuring out how to go back to the 21st century. 

Reading the Scribe of Siena was a marvelous experience. Winawer transported me to the mid-1300s in Siena as she described the people and places vividly. I have a penchant for history so I enjoyed reading every non-fictional and fictional detail of the lifestyle, culture, traditions, and beliefs of Sienese in the 14th century. Winawer conjured fictional characters and events based on some missing information in Sienese histories such as the painter of the fifth fresco of Ospedale of Siena and the prominent Florentine families who conspired against the Sienese government. 

One interesting point about this novel is it is told from multiple perspectives in shifting points of view. This is the first time I experience reading a story delivered in this way. The pronoun shift caused a little discomfort but I got used to it as I read more and got engrossed in the plot and the medieval world. 

All in all, I enjoyed The Scribe of Siena. I recommend it to readers who love historical, science fiction laced with romance and mystery. 

Discussion Questions

1. When you hear the phrase “time travel”, what comes to your mind?

2. How significant is the setting in the story? Did it make you enjoy the story more? Why or why not?

3. Is the author’s description of place and time accurate? Why or why not?

4. Describe Beatrice Trovato. 

5. Who was your favorite character? Who was your least favorite character? Explain. 

6. Discuss the plot of the story. Was it believable?

7. What was your favorite moment in the story? Why?

8. How does the title relate to the book?

9. Did you like the book? Why or why not?

10. In what ways did this story make you reflect on your own life?

Further Information

Title: The Scribe of Siena

Author: Melodie Winawer

Genre: Literary Fiction, Historical Fiction

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Gallery Books; Reprint edition (January 2, 2018)

Publication Date: January 2, 2018

Print length: 480 pages

ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1501152262

ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1501152269

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Title: Techniques of the Selling Writer

Author: Dwight V. Swain

Genre: Fiction Writing

Publisher: University of Oklahoma Press; Revised ed. Edition (January 15, 1981)

Release Date: May 12, 2012

ISBN-10 : 0806111917

ISBN-13 : 978-0806111919

ASIN : B0099P9UI0

Price: $15.00 (Kindle)

    Writing a novel is a daunting task and this is the truth that Dwight V. Swain elucidated in his book,  Techniques of the Selling Writer.  Becoming a selling writer doesn’t just happen, one has to make it happen.  A great effort must be put on learning the basic knowledge and techniques and the ins and out of a writing career and writing itself.

    Aside from creating a habit of writing every day, one of the things new writers must be willing to do is  to make mistakes. In this way, they will learn which things work and don’t work for them. It’s really challenging to have this mindset for sometimes they are afraid of the criticisms of other writers who are ahead of the game. This fear stops an aspiring writer from even starting a copy. However, unless he tries, he can’t know how well he’ll do.

    Swain couldn’t stress enough how important it is to put together the elements that arouse emotions in readers. The absence of feelings reduces a story into an unworthy piece of a copy. Swain gave a lot of tips on how to use words as basic parts of a fiction to show not tell. These words strung together create motivation-reaction units, M-R units create scenes and sequels, scenes and sequels create a story pattern (beginning, middle, ending). Swain also gave explanations and specific examples on how to flesh out characters and the world they live in. The characters are the main vehicles of emotions as they act in the story world.

    Writing can be challenging but nothing can stop a novice writer from becoming an expert and be among the successful writers such as J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, and C.S. Lewis. With effort and skills, he can share the lives of the characters of his story in a way that evokes emotional connection with readers. In learning the basics of writing fiction, Techniques of the Selling Writer is a good book to start with.

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

The success of entrepreneurs lies in having the right mindset and attitude with which they need to face challenges and achieve their goals. 

Success coaches, Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, had this in mind as they laid out all the knowledge and strategies essential to entrepreneurs in their book, The Gap and The Gain. Both have been successful in personality development and entrepreneurship. 

Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an organizational psychologist who authored six books and co-authored three books that tackle personal development and psychological factors that contribute to success. He initially blogged on Medium with more than 10 million reads. His work focuses on self-transformation and self-growth. 

Dan Sullivan is an entrepreneurial coach who founded The Strategic Coach which helps entrepreneurs reach their greatest potential. He also authored over 50 publications and trained 30,000 entrepreneurs.

Both of them collaborated and wrote three books including The Gap and The Gain.

OVERVIEW

Progress is measured in two ways: the gap and the gain. Imagine a glass that is filled with water halfway through. When in the gap, the glass is seen as half empty; when in the gain, the glass is half full. 

More often than not, people, especially those who are highly ambitious, see the glass as half empty by measuring themselves against their ideal goals that are beyond their grasp. Ideal targets that are reached are replaced with new ones, which resulted in unhappiness as it created an effect of running after something that is out of reach. 

Dan Sullivan created The Gap and The Gain to help entrepreneurs recognize their achievements rather than overly focusing on their future targets. Shifting their perspective surprised them as they didn’t have an idea how much they had already accomplished. This also brought benefits such as motivation boost, confidence, and success.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Fixation on external factors such as relationships and achievements sums up to an unhealthy need that drives us out of the present moment and makes it difficult for us to be genuinely happy. 

• Intrinsic motivation reconciles the self and the want, but it still keeps us independent from the latter while experiencing the intense flow of doing an activity. As space and time dissolve into one focus, freedom and happiness burst into bloom. 

• Being in the gain means we define success on our own terms. 

• Gratitude guides and helps us focus on the gain.  

• Being in the gain unfolds the other meaning of our past that makes us better, not bitter.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. What comes to your mind when you hear the word “gap”? How about the “gain”?

2. What do you think about being passionate about something but not attached to it? 

3. Share your thoughts on the common habit of people of overlooking accomplishments. 

4. The authors listed the process we undergo when we create a new habit such as staying in the gain.  What are the steps and how would you apply these in your life?

5. What lessons did you learn from this book?

6. What is the most important takeaway from this book?

7. Describe the writing style of the authors. 

8. Which parts of the book are your favorite? Explain why. 

9. What are your least favorite parts of the book? Explain why. 

10. What questions would you ask the authors?

QUOTES

“You can freely perform and be in the flow, rather than obsessing over how it will turn out.” — page 19

“To truly get the feeling of progress, we need to base it on concrete facts.” — page 33

“Social media is largely designed to put people into the GAP.” — page 35

“Before you start the process with a new goal, make sure to recognize and appreciate the progress and achievements you’ve made so far.” — page 41

“Your day can be designed proactively—meaning by you—rather than designed reactively—where you’re bounced around by distractions.” — page 122

WHAT I LOVED

• Incorporating real-life stories of people concretizes the author’s message. For instance, the football player’s personal philosophy that football does not constitute his worth hit home. We are not our careers. We can be passionate about them, but we can’t be them. On our own, we are already worthy.

• My idea of success was challenged and changed. I have always associated success with the percentage of tasks I complete. For example, if I have a to-do list with 20 tasks, I will only consider myself successful if I complete all 20 tasks. Anything less than 100% is a failure.I believe this way of thinking stems from my educational experiences. In elementary school, high school, and college, I was always graded on a percentage basis. This system taught me that the only way to be successful was to get a perfect score. Now, as an adult, I still carry this mindset with me. Even when I’m doing something as simple as making a to-do list, I’m constantly focused on the percentage of tasks I’ve completed. If I don’t complete everything on my list, I feel like a failure. This book made me realize that success is not about perfection. It’s about progress. Even if I don’t complete everything on my to-do list, I’m still making progress.

• The book left me astonished as it dismantled my subconscious habit of focusing on the half-empty glass, which may have developed during my school days due to comparing myself to other people who accomplished greater things. The book made me aware of this automatic mental habit that affects my own growth and happiness.

WHAT I DIDN’T LOVE

• As I read along, questions arose. What was the purpose of the writer to keep on repeating the same ideas? For example, he keeps on repeating the same sentence pattern and the same stance on the disadvantages of being in the gap and being in the gain. 

• The whole book made me feel this piece of writing is being stretched to 175 pages. Some of the people who commented on the book said that it can be summarized into a text. Well, the author is an organizational psychologist so he seems to talk repetitively just to make his message longer. The book is a quick read but ideas are repetitive. 

SUMMING-UP

Bloomberg reports that 80% of businesses fail within 18 months. Personal sabotage is one of the many reasons. However, success coaches are here to the rescue. 

Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan wrote The Gap and The Gain to help entrepreneurs and high-achieving people become successful by recognizing the gap and the gain, the obverse and the reverse of progress created by Sullivan. 

The book differentiates these two sides of the coin. When you are in the gap, you measure yourself against your ambition or goals that you haven’t reached yet. This could cause anguish and unhappiness. On the other hand, being in the gain means being aware of your achieved goals and focusing on what you have in the present moment, not what should happen in the future. 

To put their message forward, the authors related stories of real people from an Olympian who won the gold medal in his final race in the Olympics after years of being a top athlete to a stock investor who lost millions of dollars in 2008 after the stock market crashed but turn this painful experience as an inspiration to develop an A.I. that could help make better decisions on trading. The stories served their purpose well but the repetition of the central idea was bothersome. 

Even though the book was a quick read and repetitive at times, it did change my perspective on how to measure success. I am of those who always see the glass as half empty. Recognizing that the glass is also half full concretizes personal abilities to fulfill dreams. This boosts confidence and happiness.

I highly recommend The Gap and The Gain to those who want to start a business, who are already running a business, or who want to improve their mindset and become successful.

FURTHER INFORMATION

Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s website

Dan Sullivan’s website 

Book Information:

The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers’ Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success  by Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan

To Be Published on October 19, 2021, by Hay House Business

264 pages (eBook)

Find it here:

Goodreads

Gwen, a mother of three, a wife of an unemployed husband, and a daughter of a perfectionist mother, found herself looking in the mirror with a question – what happened to her life? Dissatisfied,  she hoped she had the life of Iris, who must have had an incredible time in New York. 

Iris, a trophy wife of a “divorce attorney extraordinaire” who is ten and half years her senior, and a stepmother of his two intimidating daughters, found herself hiding in her room from the people at the party she organized, feeling like an outcast. Wasn’t it the life that she ever wanted? Why wasn’t she happy?

Two women who used to be best of friends took different paths that pushed them apart for more than twenty years. They were longing to be saved from their miserable lives but they got nobody to turn to until their paths crossed again. Megan Leavell, an author of several bestselling novels using the pen name Olivia Miles, invites readers to become involved in their search for true happiness.

Pluses and Minuses

The story reminded me of some characters in TV and movie shows. Gwen reminds me of Claire Dunphy in Episode 14 of Season 1 of the Modern Family when Claire compared herself to her successful old friend; Gwen’s mother, Eileen, gave me the vibe of Naomi Bunch who has high expectations of her daughter, Rebecca Bunch, in Crazy Ex-girlfriend; and the women in Gwen’s neighborhood, are comparable to the condescending “plastics” from Mean Girls. 

The familiarity of the characters facilitates connection with them but the plot development was too slow for me that I wanted to quit the book midway. My curiosity about how the two main characters resolve their problems kept me going. However, my anticipation turned into a tepid reception of the moment they met after twenty years without communication and the moment their vulnerability uncovered their secrets. I was expecting a big drama but I guess the novel was intended to be a light read. 

The author was still able to deliver the message of the book– the people we love are more important than material things we have, which I greatly appreciate. She prodded me to reflect on my priorities.

Thank you, Megan Leavell, Cedar House Press, and NetGalley for the Advance Reader Copy for the chance to review this book. I understand that I would give Reasons for Avoiding Friends an honest review.

Discussion Questions

1. What do you think about the title of the book? What came to your mind after reading it?

2. Describe the book cover. 

3. What expectations did you have based on the book cover?

4. Was the author able to meet your expectations?

5. What questions did you have after reading the book?

Further Information

Title: Reasons for Avoiding Friends

Author: Megan Leavell

Genre: Fiction, Women Fiction

Publisher: Cedar House Press (September 14, 2021)

Publication Date: September 14, 2021

Print length: 305 pages

ASIN:   B08ZLYTZC6

Buy on Amazon

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First Line:

“Season’s Greeting, Friends and family, and a Happy New Year!”

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A
Awakening of Meena Rawat, The (ARC)

B

C

D

Dryburgh Chronicles Part I: The Existence of Shadows, The (ARC)

E

Embrace Your Almost (ARC)

F

Farming Grace: A Memoir of Life, Love, and a Harvest of Faith Find a Stranger, Say Goodbye First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything . . . Fast!, The

G

Gathering Blue, The Giver Book 2

H

House in the Cerulean Sea, The How To Wake A Butterfly (ARC) How to Write a Short Story in Five Days (How to do stuff) (ARC)

I

In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts Introduction to Internal Family Systems

J

Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will

K

L

Language of Emotions, The (ARC) Last of the Moon Girls, The 

M

Messenger, The Giver Book 3 My Mother’s Children: An Irish family secret and the scars it left behind.

N

Ninja Selling: Subtle Skills. Big Results.

O

One Hundred Years of Solitude

P

R

Reasons for Avoiding Friends (ARC) Redeeming Your Time (ARC)

S

Sacredness of Secular Work, The (ARC) Science of Overcoming Procrastination, The Secret Life of Carolyn Russell, The (ARC) Seeing Green: Don’t Let Envy Color Your Joy S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On)

T

Tailored Brain, The  (ARC) Techniques of the Selling Writer This Much Huxley Knows (ARC)

W

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You Are Not An Impostor (ARC) You Were Not Born To Suffer

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I used to frown upon “negative” emotions because I was anxious about what others thought of me.

If I am scared of something, they might think I am a coward…

If I get mad, they might think I’m not kind…

And if  I cry because I’m sad, I’m emotional…

But, according to Gabor Mate, a renowned physician and author, our behaviors do not come from our choices but from our environment. They are responses to what’s happening around us.

In other words, our belief about “negative” emotions rose from our homes, schools, and communities. One way or the other, we absorb what our family, teachers, friends, and other people believe, and make them our own. But then, just because the majority think a certain way doesn’t mean it’s right. The “normal” way of treating positive, negative, and neutral emotions can lead to miscommunication, misunderstanding, and physical, mental, and emotional pain. 

The book, The Language of Emotions, written by Kara McLaren, an empathy expert and CEO of  Emotion Dynamics Inc., explores the deepest meanings of these emotions. McLaren created a “unified theory of emotions” to demystify the complexity of these inner-body forces and their function, unraveling their wisdom that guides us in responding to our feelings without destroying ourselves and others. 

McLaren also wrote several other books about the power of emotions such as The Power of Emotions at Work (2021), Embracing Anxiety (2020), and The Art of Empathy (2013). 

Emotions are a basic part of our being. They carry a huge amount of energy that could hurt us if they are suppressed or released without care. 

Managing them, which is crucial for our health, is like managing a campfire. It can be warm and comforting, giving you light and heat. But if left unchecked, it could turn into a raging fire that causes harm and danger. Because of this, emotions are commonly divided into light and dark, embraced or shunned. 

To unravel the other side of the emotions, Karla McLaren wrote The Language of Emotions to explain what they are, what their families are, and how to work with them. She shares her own experiences that brought her intense emotions and exposed the effects of other strategies in dealing with them. 

The book goes beyond categorizing emotions into good or bad, positive or negative, or honored or dishonored. 

1. What did you learn from the book?
2. Which parts of the book do you like the best?
3. Did any examples in the book change your beliefs about emotions?
4. Are there any parts of the book you disagree with, and why?
5. How do the book’s ideas help you manage your emotions?
6. What have you learned about yourself while reading?
7. How can you manage “negative” emotions better?
8. What questions would you ask the author? Why?
9. How does the book’s take on emotions help you reach your long-term goals?
10. Would you recommend this book? Why or why not?

• In the first part of the book, with raw honesty, McLaren bares her soul by revealing the painful events in her life that overwhelmed her mentally, physically, and spiritually. As a highly empathic person, she couldn’t control the deluge of emotions and their effects on her body. She went on trying different ways to handle them but they didn’t work. Never giving up, she decided to dig deeper into understanding emotions and their message.  
• McLaren explains comprehensively each major emotion- fear, anger, sadness, and happiness. They play a role in keeping different emotions flowing. She also touches on the other feelings related to each major one and explains their nuances. For example, sadness helps us to let go of things that don’t work. Grief and depression are part of the sadness family and they also carry important information that we could use to move forward in life. 
• After the stories and explanations, McLaren went on listing and elaborating the simple yet effective techniques of handling the enormous energy of emotions that can be applied in a few minutes anytime, anywhere. 

WHAT I DIDN’T LOVE

• Some explanations are repetitive but it didn’t bother me that much. I somehow find it helpful in deeply understanding the concept being taught in the book. 

SUMMARY

Karla McLaren is an empath who underwent tumultuous events in her life that caused her to feel a deluge of different emotions. She explored different strategies for handling the energy coming from these emotions but they didn’t completely help her. Instead, she digs deeply to understand the function of every positive and negative emotion and to create her own techniques for handling them. All of these are included in her book, The Language of Emotions. 

The book does a great job of explaining the definition and roles of emotions including their nuances. The families of sadness, anger, fear, and happiness are broken down further with more examples and real-life applications. If the goal of the author is to make the reader appreciate even the “negative” emotions, then she succeeds. Emotions are not good or bad, they carry a message that needs to be heeded, otherwise, they mess with our psyches and life choices. Self-awareness can help us connect with them so we can healthily express them.

Furthermore, emotions are massive energies that are created within our bodies. They need to move and flow. To do this, the author designed techniques that are easy to do and can be applied anytime, anywhere. After practicing these methods, relief, and clarity set in that gives way to stronger relationships with yourself and others. 

If you want to know how to handle your emotions well, this book is for you. 

Thank you, Karla MacLean, Sounds True, and NetGalley for the ARC and the chance to share my honest thoughts about this book. 

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Book Information:

The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren 

Published on June 1, 2010, by Sounds True 

434 pages (eBook)

Find it here:

Goodreads 

       Annette Sills is a contemporary fiction writer and a member of Manchester Irish writers. Her short stories have been longlisted and shortlisted in a number of competitions including the Fish Short Story Prize, the Telegraph Short Story Club, and Books Ireland Magazine.  Her second novel, My Mother’s Children: An Irish family secret and the scars it left behind., touches on the controversial mother and baby homes in Ireland through a daughter’s journey in discovering her mother’s past that led her to understand her more and find someone important in her life. 

       After her mother’s death, Carmel Doherty went back to their childhood house to clear it up. Going through the things, she remembered the memories of her mother, her late brother, her voice, and her manic episodes. “First her voice and now her smell had gone from me.” As she went along, she found a letter from her late father addressed to her mother, Tess;  a letter that made her question everything she knew about her. 

       While she was searching for answers by discovering articles about mother and baby homes and asking her relatives and other people who knew her mother when she was in her teens, her relationship with her husband and best friend was under a strain. Carmel went depressed when everything around her was shattering, which was necessary for her to become whole again. 

Thoughts…Thoughts…Thoughts…

       This book is a memorable one for me. I always think mother-children relationships are sometimes complicated stemming from the inner struggles of mothers.  Sills’ way of telling the story made me identify with Carmel who was brave to dive into the past of her mother no matter how shocking and heavy it was.

       Further, Sills managed to string together the events and lives of the characters, building up exciting points in the story. I gasped when an important person was revealed towards the end.

       This book also makes me appreciate mothers more; mothers’ mental health is very crucial to the total well-being of humanity. It’s heartbreaking to know what the mothers and their children went through at the controversial mother and baby homes run by nuns in Ireland. My heart goes out to the mothers who were abused and deprived of their right to be with their children and to the babies and other children who were deprived of life and mother’s love. 

Discussion Questions 

1. How do you interpret the title?

2. How does Tess influenced Carmel growing up?

3. How does Carmel’s anxiety affect her relationships?

4. What is your take on mother and baby homes?

5. Who do you think should be responsible for the injustice inflicted on the mothers and children in these institutions?

Further Information

Title: My Mother’s Children: An Irish family secret and the scars it left behind.

Author: Annette Sills 

Genre: Historical Irish Fiction

Publisher: Poolbeg Press; 1st edition (March 24, 2021)

Publication Date: March 24, 2021

Print length: 294 pages

ASIN: B08XZMGZR5

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